I was thinking about a conversation that I had the other day. This person was referred to me because they were looking for an outlet for stress relief without the escort-type of service. He shared some personal details of his life which has an impact on his stress levels given the large amount of responsibility he has in his personal, family and professional life. He told me that there are some days which he doesn’t know if he will make it through and feels like he wants to escape. To cope in these moments, he takes a break by driving out to a spot that is calm and serene. I explained to him the concept of mindfulness.
Mindfulness is bringing yourself to the present moment without any intrusive, worrying thoughts about the past or future. Mindfulness can be achieved through any activity which stimulates one or more of your five senses: taste, touch, smell, sight and sound. By giving yourself a break from these everyday stressors, it relaxes the mind and body which has shown to decrease stress levels.
Mindfulness can be any activity that brings you pleasure or relaxation. My neo-tantric massage inspires relaxation through sensual touch, firm massage, dim yet colourful lighting, clean atmosphere with a hygienic body massage and relaxing, customized AMSR-like playlist of music. Combining all of these factors brings a sense of deep relaxation in your mind and body which allows for me to push your boundaries (with your consent) in a safe way.
I gave this individual his first prostate massage this day and he said he finally understood why people enjoyed it so much. About 99% of people that I see enjoy it and about 80%-90% of people that I see request it at some point (whether it’s upon initial point of contact or after they’ve worked up the courage to bring it up). Sometimes I will play gently externally to see the reaction that I can get and will enter slowly if given permission. Sometimes external play can be just as pleasurable. With pegging, others have shared that the first point of entry can be uncomfortable but it is always more enjoyable after a little pain.
After giving this wonderful person the space to share some of their life stressors and open up to me, I shared a personal detail about an individual in my family who is given everything they desire and, yet, is still unhappy. My theory is that this person has no goals to work towards because they’re handed everything they want and thus have no dreams or direction. Theoretically we believe a person should be happy if all of their desires are met but this couldn’t be further from the truth. The fact is that this person’s life does not have its ups and downs as it is meant to and therefore this person cannot feel any highs or lows. Therefore they create their own, through starting problems with others (lows) and using drugs (highs). It is clear this person finds no joy in life despite experiencing these highs and lows.
You need to take the bad with the good otherwise there would be no appreciation for life. In order to feel alive, we need to have the hard times and the good times will reignite the flame of life and feeling alive. When we are down, it is important to not camp in that headspace. We need to find outlets which inspire mindfulness and bring us joy. We need to find appreciation for life and do what makes us happy despite what others think - and as long as we are not hindering others’ safety and ability to enjoy life.
I know it is cliche to say, but you cannot have pleasure without pain.
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