What Is Sex Work?
There seems to be a general consensus that sex work is defined as any sexual services or performances intended to sexually arouse someone else with an exchange of material compensation (typically monetary).
In Canada, there are professional sex work establishments, which include body rub parlors, strip clubs and escort agencies. Of course, any physical sexual contact is deemed illegal and yet some of these establishments still continue to operate outside of the legal bounds.
All professions in the civic world (non sex industry) do not condone sexual touch as all. Many professional regulating bodies are firm on the boundaries of physical touch that involves touching for any sort of sexual pleasure or in a sexual manner.
When consent isn’t given for sexual touching, it can be considered sexual assault. Within the College of Psychotherapists of Ontario (CRPO) (a professional association that I once belonged to), there is a zero tolerance policy when it comes to all unwanted sexual contact or language as this is considered sexual abuse. If using physical touch in therapy, such as giving a hug, or patting someone on the back when they are crying, practitioners are advised to use their best judgment and to err on the side of caution as sometimes even this type of physical contact can be considered abusive if unwanted by the recipient. You can read more about it here.
If there is consent to sexual touching in a professional setting, this can severely impact a professional relationship by blurring the boundaries, affecting the power differential and impacting healing. For example, the CRPO requires all members to abstain from sexual or romantic relations with their clients (and former clients) to protect every party involved. You can read more about it here.
It is interesting that the only profession that seems to focus any sort of physical touch for sexual arousal is sex work. I appreciate that professional organizations take physical touch very seriously in protecting the public’s best interest. Further, I also think that this keeps the focus on the services or treatment (or, in the workplace, production on the common goal). Deductively, however, this leaves the broad definition of different types of sex work with any sort of physical touch that inspires arousal.
I have defined sex work into two categories: contact and non contact services.
Sexual Contact
Before we talk about sexual contact, I think it’s important to explore what sex actually is. One website defines sex as more than just penetrative, and not all sex is sexual intercourse. Sex is defined as all acts meant to sexually arouse you. This doesn’t just include oral and penetrative, but also other acts such as caressing, kissing, stimulating erogenous zones on the body or even masturbation (sex with the self).
The most obvious category of sex work is one that involves full sexual contact. One way that most people define sex work is providing a sexual service, such as oral sex or penetrative sex (sexual intercourse), in exchange for monetary gain. Most contact sex workers provide this type of service, or at least one of them.
But people, like myself, don’t provide this level of contact. I provide a more erotic experience. Although there is no oral or penetrative sex, there is still body to body contact, a Lingam massage and (sometimes) a prostate massage. However, this type of contact can still be considered “sex” even though there is no penetration (intercourse) or oral sex involved. According to the definition above, close contact of cuddling, massaging (for the purpose of arousal) and manual stimulation to erogenous zones all meet this criteria of “sex”.
Dominatrixes are also considered sex workers, even if there is limited or no sexual contact between them and the client. The level of contact can vary between providers but the underlying message is the same: they are providing a service with the intent to sexually arouse another person. Some BDSM providers may allow clients to have more sexual contact (with full intercourse) and others may be limited to less contact, such as binding, pegging or inflicting controlled pain (CBT (cock & ball torture)) with the intention to provide sexual pleasure.
Non Contact & Virtual Services in the Civic World
In the civic world, there can also be sexual assault or crossing professional boundaries with non-contact and virtual services as well. This can include saying sexual remarks (commenting on someone’s looks), making sexual jokes or even having a platonic relationship with a patient or client. Just like physical touch, this can cause harm, such as blurring the professional boundaries, affecting direction someone’s treatment or increasing the client/patients expectations for treatment outcomes.
Non Contact & Virtual Sex Work
Can sex also be considered non contact and virtual? We have all heard of “cyber sex” when the chat rooms became popular in the late ‘90s. It can be argued that non-contact and virtual erotic communication can still be considered sex, as both experiences are meant to sexually arouse both parties and/or the person on the receiving end.
Some examples of non-contact sex work are strippers, webcam models, phone sex operators and adult content-subscription creators (such as OnlyFans). Again, the purpose of these services are to inspire sexual arousal for the person on the receiving end.
How Does This Conceptualization Relate To The Civic World?
Apart from the idea of contact vs. non contact, a similar way to think of different denominations of sex work is to look at differences within the mental health field. Psychotherapists, psychiatrists, psychiatric nurses, psychologists and social workers are all mental health workers, but each profession has slightly similar (and different) roles, different professional colleges and boundaries which they are restricted to.
Psychotherapist, psychiatric nurses and social workers are very similar in terms of the work that they are able to provide. They provide counseling services to those who need help but are governed by different colleges. These professionals are not allowed to diagnose, but they can comment that there may be suspicion of a diagnosis. It is their responsibility to educate the client to get an official diagnosis from a more qualified individual.
In contrast, psychologist and psychiatrist can still provide counseling services, if they choose, or refer their clients out to the other counselling professions. In addition, they are also able to diagnose their clients with psychiatric disorders, such as depression, anxiety, borderline personality disorder etc. Psychiatrists are also allowed to diagnose and, unlike psychologists, are also able to prescribe medication. They are considered medical doctors and they’ve attended medical school.
Each mental health professional has a role to play and, based on clients/patients needs, those seeking services may require and/or utilize some or all of the services provided by these professionals. Just like sex work, all sex workers have a rule to play and cater to a specific clientele based on their own individual needs. There is a not a “once size fits all” formula to successful sex work.
In Summary...
As you can see, this definition is not black and white, but rather has many shades of gray. The title of "sex work" is not a title that I insist on identifying with for ego purposes but rather, in short, defines the nature of my work. Since we do not have a professional organization managing sex work, this identity has brought forth connection amongst the underground community. I feel it especially within social media, especially X/Twitter.
The title of “sex work” is essentially an interchangeable term used to describe providing sexual services and, due to the similarity of the work, inspire providers to share similar experiences. Not having personal connection within a community can be extremely isolating in any industry and so sharing this term has been validating to many sex worker’s experiences (with minor differences between the type of work). Building a community of like-minded individuals can help protect one another and can create a space of empathy within the experiences of this industry that cannot be described (or fully understood) in the civic world.
The diversity in the services offered can be appealing to what you want. From the contact services of BDSM, to sensual domination and full on sexual intercourse to non-contact experiences of virtual interactions and taking the role as the observer. The world is your oyster - so find what fits with you.
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