I am not an escort. And I am not a dominatrix. I’m somewhere in between. I am a kink ally and I speak out against any type of shaming. I understand the importance of normalizing and exploring one’s own sexuality - and I get off on it. I’ve been on a journey to expand the definition of what sex means. It does not just mean “p in vagee” in the missionary position. Sex does not have to be penetrative. Sex is so much more than this.
Sex is intertwined with psychological processes and arousal. It’s pleasure giving and pleasure receiving from yourself, one or more people. Sometimes it’s finding new ways to experience pleasure and sometimes throwing a little bit of pain in the mix. It’s about breaking down barriers, challenging inner belief systems and taking yourself out of your head and into the moment. It’s not worrying about what others are thinking and wrestling with that inner, irrational voice that tells you it’s wrong. It’s about finding out where that inner voice is coming from and realizing how ridiculous it is. It’s also about realizing your own mortality and understanding the finite time you have to explore what you haven’t. It’s understanding the relationship between your sexuality and finding out parts of who you are - inside and outside the bedroom. It’s realizing the power and confidence that your sexuality has on your character and knowing that finding the courage to explore will have positive impacts on your self-esteem. It’s about realizing the positive impact that meeting your sexual needs has on all of your relationships- from your family to friends and professionally. It’s accepting that these desires are an important part of life for some and not for others for a variety of complex, psychological reasons. It’s about having the thirst to understand and switch your sexual role from dominant to submissive despite what society has taught us. It’s about recognizing when your needs have to be met and understanding that others have needs as well - and lovingly gracing them with the opportunity to explore these parts of theirselves even if it means moving out of your own comfort zone. Finally, but not exhaustively, it’s about accepting the desire for any type of sex is normal, an important psychological need beyond reproduction and nothing to feel ashamed about.
Yesterday I met a wonderful person for the first time. He was nervous to share his fetish with me but I told him I am open and accepting to it. He shared that he had asked girlfriends and other service providers to do this for him but he didn’t find any luck with it. He said that we were a great fit because I was into it & I knew how to meet his desires. This type of sensuality that he requested came naturally to me because I am naturally a sensual person. This is something I hear regularly from people that they have never or can never achieve this level of relaxation without anyone because they’ve been kink shamed, haven’t felt safe to open up and/or haven’t found the right person.
There is a desire for everything. Some people may enjoy sex with escorts or being dominated and humiliated by dominatrixes. Perhaps some people have tried both and haven’t found any satisfaction because they truly don’t know what they like (which is what I’ve heard from several people). I differ from escorts for obvious reasons of personal restrictions and I am unique from dominatrixes because I do not find satisfaction in humiliating or causing harm (both physical and psychological). Some people may not be ready to explore their fetish side and this is where I come in. To provide a safe and non-judgmental space to share your inner desires and safely explore unchartered territory. I am always looking for new ways to explore sexuality which can differ from person-to-person. Every situation is unique and exciting.
I find challenging people mentally stimulating and erotic. Pushing people beyond what they know about themselves and inspiring people to get to know themselves in a deeper way. I also enjoy switching up the session each time - breaking free from mechanical-type sessions if the occasion calls for it and if it’s part a someone’s drive. Sometimes, one thing may work for a person and other times it may not. It may be impacted by emotions, thoughts, stressors or simply just finding that today is not a good day. Somethings may not work for a person at all or maybe not just yet - it may take time to build on things. Keep an open mind, feel your feelings and get to know yourself inside and out. The impact of confidence & meeting your needs can have a positive impact on your relationships, happiness and quality of life.
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