1. We are not a monogamous species. Evolutionary evidence suggests that we are not monogamous species. If we were meant to be monogamous, we wouldn’t fantasize or seek out the company of another person. I will expand on this more on another blog in the near future.
2. I am providing a service. I am not here to take you away from your life permanently but rather take you away for a moment. I am no different than a counsellor or massage therapist to provide you an outlet for your stress relief and bring you to a level of happiness so that you can be a better person in all aspects of your life – from your home life to work life and personal relationships.
3. My services are clean and honest. I am honest and upfront about the level of service that I provide – and do not provide. I will not let you walk through my door with the presumption that you will be obtaining additional services that are not listed on my website. Further, I will not manipulate you to pay extra for additional services (that I do not offer) when you are in a vulnerable state of mind. What you pay is what you will receive, and the service that I provide is free of contracting anything that poses a health risk to either of us.
4. Seeking connection is only natural – and you can experience this with many people. Everyone experiences connection in different ways. Some people thrive on emotional connection only, some require various levels of physical touch and others need both. As a provider, I do not provide a level of physical touch that some people require. There is no judgement on my part if you have or wish to obtain additional services, that I cannot provide, from other providers. Since the evidence suggests we are not monogamous beings, it is only natural to experience different levels of connection with other people. The most important part is knowing yourself to know your needs and find your happiness and outlet through this self-discovery.
5. We are both consenting adults. If both parties are of age and of mental capacity to consent to an interaction, there is nothing unethical about entering into a contract which fulfills both parties’ desires.
6. Your needs may not be met in your personal life. If your needs are not being met, especially if physical touch is one of your “love languages”, this can impact all aspects of your life. Although society and cultural norms attempt to influence the way we view things, there is no shame in wishing to fulfill these needs. In situations where people have partners, it is unethical to force their partner to fulfill their physical needs. On the other hand, I believe it is unfair for their partner to have expectations that they cannot have their needs met. A person’s needs should not override their partner’s needs and, as long as there are safety precautions set in place, I believe there is no shame in finding healthy outlets for having those needs met.
The issue at hand that comes into play is the ethical question of transparency and honesty with your partner. Unfortunately, many partnerships seem to have their needs met in every other aspect except for the sexual component. Many men in straight, monogamous relationships seem to have this sexual desire far longer than their female counterpart. Sometimes open conversations are not feasible as their partner may take a traditional and more conservative stance but are unwilling to change their behaviour to meet their partner’s needs. I believe this is unfair and will indirectly impact the partner if the needs aren’t met. Additionally, some partners prefer to maintain an avoidant approach as she may prefer not to know. Honesty and withholding information is a tricky topic from an moral standpoint but sometimes necessary in relationships to maintain a healthy balance and life together.
Can you add to this list? Or even provide an alternative perspective. I would love to hear from you and share it anonymously with my following. Send me an email at autumn.addison.massage@gmail.com
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